Mentalist Episode Tag: Red Alert, 3x13
by Donnamour1969
Summary: Jane seemed just a little too annoyed by a speeding ticket.  Lisbon wonders what was really bothering him. One-shot tag. Spoilers: 3x13. No copyright infringement intended.


A/N: Lots of great stuff in Thursday's episode. There were some lovely lines from Jane, especially. But did you notice that he seemed more troubled and annoyed than usual? This tag is my take on why that might have been. Hope you like it.

**Episode Tag: Red Alert, 3x13**

Jane caught up with Lisbon as she stood by the elevator in CBI Headquarters.

"Heading home, Lisbon? It's not even nine-o'clock," he said dryly.

"Well, in case you hadn't noticed, the last two days have been hell. All I want to do now is take a hot bath and go to bed."

"A glass of wine would go great with that," he ventured.

She smiled to herself, eyes on the elevator door.

"Yes. It would."

When the slow conveyance finally opened, the two coworkers stepped inside, and Jane pressed the button for the first floor.

"Might do you some good to do the same," she suggested, deadpan. "You've been particularly crotchety and sarcastic since yesterday. What gives?"

"Well, in case you hadn't noticed, Lisbon," he mocked, in his particularly crotchety and sarcastic way, "the last two days have been hell."

"See, that's what I'm talkin' about. Crotchety. You know, if you had just cooperated and accepted your ticket when you were first pulled over, you could have saved us all a lot of grief."

"Maybe. But it was the principle of the thing."

She snorted. "Right. And you are so full of principles, aren't you? No, I'd bet my badge something else was bothering you, even before the cop stopped you."

He was quiet a moment, a little surprised at her perception, but wondering if he really wanted to get into this with her. They had walked out of the elevator together, through the mostly empty lobby, and out the door to the parking lot in silence while he'd debated telling her. In the end, he chose a convenient white lie.

"It wasn't a good day. I'd had trouble starting my car, then, a forty-five minute drive to Crane Creek became two hours in morning traffic. So, I'm almost there and the Gestapo pulls me over with this trumped up ticket—"

"You were thirteen miles over the limit, Jane—"

"Meh. He was just throwing his petty power around. You know how cops with a chip on their shoulder are. Anyway, I chose to exercise my God-given right to civil disobedience, by refusing to pay an unfair tax."

They'd come to her SUV, and she leaned against the door to look at him in the glow of the security lights.

"And you thought evading a policeman would help your cause? Please. You always feel the laws don't apply to you."

Well, that was certainly true; she had him there. Then his eyes narrowed on her as hers flitted away with her last statement.

"That's it, isn't it?" he said, snapping his fingers.

"What?"she asked, trying to sound innocent.

"You and Bertram back there. You bent the rules on this case somehow. What did you do? And damn— whatever it was, I wish I could have seen you in action when you tweaked the nose of that arrogant weasel."

"I don't know what you're talking about," she said, trying in vain to stare him down.

He laughed with glee. "Aw, Lisbon, you don't have to hide it from me. I certainly won't judge you, even though you've been quite the hypocrite about my speeding ticket…"

She sighed and looked away from his knowing eyes, then explained how she directly violated CBI rules by speaking anonymously to the media. Jane looked on her with pride, as if he'd coached her to do the deed himself.

"So, you manipulated the rules in order to get yourself back in control. I have to say, Lisbon, I'm pleasantly surprised."

"_I_ was trying to save lives. That certainly falls under the category of civil disobedience much better than your tantrum over a completely warranted speeding ticket."

"Well," he replied, "if I had paid that damned ticket yesterday, like everyone insisted, I wouldn't have been in the Crane Creek City Hall when Crosswhite took his hostages. I wouldn't have been there to talk him down, get him to surrender, and flush out the real killer. So you see, Lisbon, I too did the honorable thing by refusing to obey an unjust law."

She smirked. "Ha. You just didn't want to pay the fine, that's all there was to it. You're cheap _and _crotchety."

"I am not cheap. Principles, remember?"

"Principles, sminciples. I'll give you that you did a great job in that hostage situation, and closing the case, but I'm the one who can take the credit for putting you there, remember? You certainly hadn't planned on going to City Hall on your own."

They were at an impasse, but they couldn't help smiling at each other. Once again, their unconventional-and in this case, unwitting-teamwork had saved the day. They couldn't help feeling a little bit proud of themselves. Jane suddenly felt lifted from the doldrums of the last two days.

"Hey, you wanna go get closed case Chinese?" he asked. "I noticed you didn't eat any of the closed case pizza Van Pelt ordered earlier."

"On one condition," she said, and Jane tensed, knowing what was coming. "Tell me what was _really_ bothering you yesterday. And don't lie to me, because I'll know." She tempered her words by throwing one of his own mantras back at him.

Lisbon was caught off guard when his eyes dropped to the pavement, and his happiness of a moment before seemed to drain from him like the air from a punctured balloon. Whatever it was, she knew in a flash of insight that it had to do with his past. When he looked up at her, his eyes were bleak and sad, and she instantly regretted pushing it.

"Yesterday would have been mine and my wife's twentieth anniversary. The reason I was late was not because of car trouble or traffic; I was still in bed and was considering not coming in at all when you called me."

"I'm sorry," she said, reaching out a hand to touch his shoulder. "I had no idea…"

He shrugged. "Of course you didn't. Some years those anniversaries hit me harder than others. For what it's worth, though, I am sorry for taking my bad mood out on you and everyone else. I suppose, in the end, getting that ticket and being held hostage actually got me through the day."

She smiled gently at him. "Way to look on the bright side."

He laughed a little, the old sparkle returning, much to her relief. "So, we've bared our souls enough for one day, don't you think? Now, how 'bout that Chinese food? I'm starved."

She pressed the unlock button on her key chain and opened her door. "Sure. But I'm driving, Lead Foot. You can't afford another traffic ticket on your record."

"Hey," he said, getting in through the passenger side door. "I thought you said you'd get Bertram to take care of it."

"Buy me dinner and I'll think about it."

"Now that's clearly extortion," he said. "I keep forgetting you're part of that whole fascist police state I've been talking about. I mean, are we living in the old Soviet Union now?"

"Shut up and fasten your seatbelt, you proletariat hippie…"

And as they continued their amusing banter, Lisbon made a note to herself to take another look at Jane's file. She had some important dates to write in her personal calendar.


End file.
